Living the Life You Love and Loving the Life You Live…

February 2, 2010

“Living the life you love and loving the life you live” is actually a tagline of a local show here in the Philippines. Hearing it for the first time made me ask myself if “I am living the life I love or at least loving the life I’m living”.

 My answer: YES and NO… depending on my mood… depending on the events of the day… depending on whether or not I was able to do what I wanted to do or go to where I wanted to go.

There are times when I sorely regret having decided to quit my job and just be a fulltime houseMAID… errr houseWIFE. There are times when I wish I can just turn back the hands of time and re-do a lot things I did in the past. Yes, regrets… I sometimes have one too many.

Why? Because I’m used to getting and having my way… I’m used to being “spoiled”… I’m used to earning my own money and being able to buy anything I can afford or at least save up for in a few months time. I’m used to dressing up and going to work… figuring out which shoes and bag go with what outfit…

Bottomline is I’m just so used to being my own person… doing my own thing when I want to. having transitioned to a fulltime home-maker has changed all that. I know that I’m not supposed to “lose myself” just because I got married and had a kid, but ask any mother out there and surely she’d choose her family’s welfare over her own “enjoyment” if made to choose just one.

I could easily choose to pamper myself, be “irresponsible” and live the way I did prior to having a family of my own… sure, that can be done… but unless you become a wife… a mother… you will never understand the choices mothers sometimes need to make to keep their families and their own sanity together.

So, going back to the question…am I living the life I love? No.

For one, I have always wanted a life filled with adventure and travels, shopping sprees, oodles and oodles of money, great food, fun people and enriching experiences. I know that’s the kind of life I’d certainly want to live if I can have it my way.

BUT… am I loving the life I’m living? Well, I’m trying too. On some days I can even answer that question with a resounding “YES”… yup, in all caps even!

When I see my son growing up to be the kid I have always imagined I would have, that’s definitely  a “YES” moment. When I am able to provide a well-thought of meal for my family that my son says, “Rap!” (Sarap) to, that’s another “YES” moment for me. When I see our house uncluttered and clean… that’s another “YES” moment for me. When I get our electric bill and I see our consumption going down… another “YES”!

What does all these boil down to? Answer: Being able to manage our life well. This was something I never had time to do when I was working and depending on a “yaya” to run my household and raise my kid.

Do I still regret leaving my good ol’ bi-monthly paying job? Sometimes… especially when it’s sale season.